Footnote 10 (The listing)

I read it 2nd time, but I had been in such an unprecedented state of mind that can't be defined, I will respond to it later as this moral mob lynching has inflicted so deep wounds not only intellectually but physically also. I didn't get in such a suicidal state because of the list but reactions of some friends who know me at par, I have no grudge against them taking their reactions as accumulated reactions to totality of the anti-woman social ambience and probably they really don't know how much loss has caused to me, my readers and my students. Right now I would say just that I have been an instinctive feminist watching my grandmother and mother and when I could not successfully rebel against my child marriage under inadvertent emotional blackmailing from them. The marriage with someone whom I had not seen and did not know anything about her for the next 3 years till our Gavna. Marriage was not my choice but living the marriage was my choice as if 2 people are victims of some social custom, one co-victim should not further victimise the more co-victim, as women are more co-victim in a patriarchy. That was a instinctive feminism of a 16 year old village boy.subsequent feminism has been a politically conscious one, my daughters are witness. My students across the batches, though I try to wary them, have been flocking around and trying to console me. They have been my strength to get out of the suicidal state. I shall write a philosophical note after I have fully survived from this moral mob lynching. But those who not trusting their own experiences with me, have made fatal comments that pushed me into suicidal state of mind. This is a sentimental reaction, if it hurts anybody, I ask their forgiveness. I thank all my students from various batches who have shown their solidarity, particularly to a 2001 batch student who commented on my Outlook interview that defined me as a teacher, which was revelation to me.