A law student in
California put out a ‘list of sexual harassers and abusers’ last week,
creating an intense debate on whether publishing such a list, without following
due process, is justified. One name on the list is Ish Mishra, who teaches
political science at Hindu College, Delhi University. Here is his response on
grappling with the consequences, in an interview with Pragya Singh:
What do you have to
say about your name featuring on the list of offenders?
It is like a surgical
strike. This was the worst thing anyone could have done to me. I did not see
this coming. The immediate result is I am unable to give my best to anything. I
have been deleting my students from my phone book, for I feel I have lost faith
in myself. This episode has made me feel like a rape victim in a patriarchal
society. I have been telling myself, over and over, I will not commit suicide.
You can say this is a phase of hard introspection for me. I suppose the
allegation, though unsubstantiated, is completely fresh right now, so there is
an element of over-reaction in me.
Have you an idea of
why your name is on the list?
I simply can’t
comprehend who would have complained about me. I am psyched by it. Every day I
have been going over classes I have taught for nearly 23 years in this college,
trying to recall each batch, each year, to decipher what I might have said or
done that one of my students found improper. But nothing is coming up. I always
believed my students love my classes, love my teaching and are fond of me. I
have cared about them very much and always been very engaged with them. That is
how I thought they feel about me! Now all I wonder about is what I could have
done.
Are there episodes
from the past you think contributed to the perception of you as wrongdoer?
I have not tried to
get in touch with those who put my name on the list though I want to say I
don’t belong on it. I want to ask my students to please tell me if they have
any issue with me. My students are my political capital—I am not a person who
has a short-term focus. This is what I believe the work of academics and
teaching is—to think of the long-term horizon, not immediate benefits. I never
perceived my female students as someone to take advantage of.
There are a handful of
professors in DU who have been found guilty and convicted by courts in sexual
harassment cases. Isn’t that one reason to justify such a list? After all,
everybody knows such episodes are far more common and never get noted.
I have never
physically violated anybody. Nor have I touched anybody inappropriately. If I
have ever said or done anything that has offended a student, I don’t know what
or when it was. No one ever complained
to me, or contacted me in this regard. However if someone contacts me with any
complaint of my conduct that would have offended her, I shall apologize and
shall be ready for the consequences.
Do you feel this is
led by a conspiracy, as many say it is?
If my name had not
been on the list I too would have been thinking that those on the list ‘must
have done something’. I know this is exactly how people are thinking about me.
Many of my students have called me to express shock but many others, I know,
feel ‘who knows how he was with others…. I don’t see it as conspiracy, as
sexual harassment is the real issue not only in academia but in all the
sections of society. However with this
list I have been wounded immeasurably. As
I say this, I don’t see it as a conspiracy but do not agree with the
methodology of naming people as raised by the prominent feminists in their
Kafila statement. However it raises some doubt as many of the listed people apart
from convicted ones are those who have been critically vocal against the
establishment and its communal designs.
And that is why you
feel, somehow, targeted?
In this character assassination, my condition
has been rendered helpless. I feel like a woman would under this patriarchal
system, when she faces character assassination. It causes me pain for I have
struggled to be a person who even in jest, even in anger, shunned, for example,
offensive words. I have watched over my language all my life, in every
inflexion and tone, trying not to be a sexist pig—and that is the tag now
placed on me. I am a feminist and one who has worked on himself to learn and
unlearn new and old habits. Hence, it is perhaps difficult to heal from such an
unexpected blow. Had I been jailed, or arrested, or beaten, I would have faced
those gladly but this causes very great pain and agony to me.
How would you describe
your relationship with your students, particularly female students?
We spend a lot of time
working, studying, drinking tea at my house. Sometimes my wife will tell us to
break up our endless discussions—‘bacchiyon ko ghar nahi jaana hai kya?’ (It’s
time the girls went home!) Now I have stopped this interaction completely. I
don’t know for how long. My instinct is to help students, spend productive time
with them. I know I will be back to normal—there is a whole lot I have to do in
life. Two of my students are JNU professors. A few are overseas. Many are
teaching in DU colleges. They invite me to their weddings; keep in touch with
me, some transformed into friends over the years.
There is a power
equation between teacher and student—were you unconscious of violating that?
Even within academia
there are levels of power. Not all professors can be placed on the same level.
What will happen to professors who are not famous or powerful on the list? I
coincidently got a permanent teaching job at the age of 41, as I did not fit
into the academic power structure and did not have a Godfather. I was
rusticated from JNU in 1983 for not writing an apology for participation in an
agitation in defense of JNU’s democratic admission policy, as those who
apologized were left untouched. Those who made this list did not stop to think
that if a person gets named by accident or by mistake, what will happen to that
person, such as an old professor like me. One has, I suppose, to bear this
suffering. On a personal note, I have tried to never maintain hierarchical
power equation with my students. I have tried to encourage them to question
anything and everything. I try to teach them to question not only my ideas but me
also. (By the way I have two daughters, and try to educate them in the same way).
Now I have shared my new suffering with my current batch of students, even
though it was emotionally very difficult. But I felt necessary to do so,
especially to speak to my female students and to tell them to raise any
problems if they have. This is unfortunately
my burden now.
